03/10/09 An Immigrants Prison

It was a strange feeling. Analu had never felt this way before and he wasn’t sure what to do with the knots and tangles that grew from within his stomach and made their way up is throat. He could imagine a rose bush starting as a small seed deep within his stomach and quickly growing throughout his body with the thorns ripping through his internals every inch as the rose looked for sun light; looked for a way out.

Unsure if it was fear or anxiety, Analu looked around him. Maybe he was looking for a place to get something to drink, maybe he was looking for a way out, as he really just wanted to run away, but really he was just looking because he didn’t know what to do. Looking around helped him slow his mind and forget where he was. Being captive, not knowing who your capturer is or what crime you have committed takes a toll on your mental state. Looking down at is watch, “It’s only been five minutes.” he thought.

They had already taken the love of his life. He awaited what was coming next imagining all of the scenarios. He tried not to let his mind wonder too far, it seemed every time he did the thorns of that rose grew larger. He went over everything in his head, start to finish a thousand times. Had he crossed the t’s and doted the i’s. What could he have done differently? Had he moved too soon? Should they have stayed low? Life was simple, but it was good. Was it right to push her so soon? They know she’s pregnant, right? Do they care?

He just wanted to go home. Analu had dreamed about the day of being able to see his family again. Taking back the love of his life and the child they looked forward to bringing in this world. Thinking about what his mom would say when they got home, and dreaming about the proud look on his pappa’s face brought a moment of warmth over his body, but it only lasted a moment when his mind returned to the now.

Analu never knew sitting in the embassy waiting to find out if the country he called home would let him bring the love of his life in would be such a prison. He found himself wrestling with truth and lies. When you know your love you can never understand why others don’t. Maybe he should have just done it the way the others did.

Maybe the right way was really the wrong way?